Hot Dog, Not Much to Blog

Clearly blogging is not my thing; it's been three months since I last posted, although I have been twittering a lot over the last few days:  it's quick, easy, and cuts out the crap, or the need to make real sense.

Since I last blogged, our cute little puppy has become a real 'hot dog' and is quite the catch in our neighborhood.  At Christmas, we volunteered to look after Monty, a wire-haired dachshund puppy, while his 'folks' went back to England for the holidays; unfortunately, and you couldn't have planned this, Mitzie decided to come into season the very first morning after he arrived.  It was a mess.  He was on a humpathon and she was a little splodgy to say the least. Vet's advice?  Separate them immediately. So, before Monty's poor parents had even landed back in Blighty, and we had whisked him off to the kennels.  

The real fun came next.  Three and a half weeks of hell including 17 days of bleeding, profusely at times, with traces of the Mitzter left all over the house, and then a week of her humping anything that moved, usually best (bitch) friend Venus's head, side, bottom, leg... you get the picture.  She went from clingy and lovable to ferocious and aggressive on the turn of a dime (sound familiar to many men???) but has emerged from the process much better than when she went in!

She has developed quite a personality, which now includes regularly demanding attention by using the 'paw' method, or nosing her way into your affections, or quite the shrill bark!  She is enamored by her Poppy who constantly feeds her tidbits from the sofa, table, and kitchen.  In fact, on Christmas Day she passed out in a turkey coma having hovered at his feet for the best part of the day during the cooking of dinner.  She can be VERY stubborn and sulky and quite a nightmare to guests and friends that she doesn't take kindly to but has a strange vetting method - workmen are ok, friends not so, especially men, or children without shoes.  Or just children...  And bicycles and motorbikes are a no-no.  We have caused many a near accident while out on a walk as an unsuspecting cyclist swerves to avoid ferocious dachshund!

Being overly cautious and having NO experience with 'hot dogs' I visited the vet a couple of times during 'the season' (thanks for his patience, although he must think I am nuts...) firstly to check whether she'd been 'had' by Monty (tests under a microscope showed doubtful, complete with her squealing when the vet inserted the 'tools' necessary for a smear test) and secondly to check whether it could really go on for soooooo long.  It can and it did.  

Next visit to the vet will be for a little operation.  I cannot imagine having a female dog, that you didn't plan to breed, without having it spayed.  Although they only come into season twice a year, it was a nightmare, particularly living in a city with 25,000 stray dogs, most of which seemed to arrive at our gate every night (3am anyone?) howling and crying for Mitzie.  For the most part, she wasn't interested, but it didn't stop the constant stream.

As luck would have it for us, but not little Monty's mom and dad, they are returning to England and we are to become his proud parents.  He and Mitzie seem to get along, although she has to remind him to stop humping her and gets very possessive about her turf, and I'm sure it will get better once they've BOTH had an operation!!!

I am counting down the days to becoming a puppy momma to two little critters and hoping that it will be twice the fun, not twice the work!

Holy Cow

It's incredible what you learn about the animal world living in India.  Not only are cows sacred - and have right of way on the roads - but in a stand-off with a dog, dog wins... in a stand-off with a horse, cow wins.  It seems ironic that one small animal (Mitzie) could terrorize one large animal (cow).  I witnessed a 'head to head' between the two of them on the street the other day and when things got a little tense between an over curious calf and Mitzie, the Mitzter came out on top, sending the calf fleeing down the street.  On the other hand, while out for a pleasant ride recently, my friend and I were confronted by a handful of cows which sent the horses into a flat spin and literally jumping for cover.  In fact, as the cows galloped toward us, we had to take cover in adjacent bushes and try to calm down the horses.  Clearly this was HYSTERICAL to the couple of young boys who were herding the cows, and they spent a good few minutes chuckling at these crazy white women in their fancy outfits cowering in the undergrowth.  Had Mitzie been with us, however, I am sure things would have been TOTALLY different, and we'd all be celebrating her victory over the herd and our more dignified handling of the situation!

Time flies...

... when you're having fun!  And we've certainly been doing that, for the most part, since the arrival of our 'daughter,' Mitzie.  Not content with turning our lives upside by getting a dog, we have also moved house, which involved re-house training (for all of us!) and all the general stresses and strains that go with shifting (as we call it here!)

Mitzie has developed quite a personality and has so far caught and maimed a couple of mice/mini-rats in the garden, dug her way almost to Australia, chased monkeys by the score at the stables, and even shown us her swimming prowess as she followed me (when I was on horseback) into the water.

The best thing has to be Mitzie's slightly bi-polar personality - she's terrified of kids and runs away from most other dogs; except street dogs.  We arrived home by car a couple of weeks ago and Mitzie's heckles were immediately up...  street dogs had not only infiltrated our street, but had dared to pee outside her house.  Thankfully I had her on the lead as she sped off to chase not one, not two, but about five of them off her block.  She's a galloping along, barking, ears flapping, dragging me behind, and they actually run away!  This has now turned into a nightly ritual where she defends the T-junction at the end of our block from anything stray and slightly ugly.  

She also has a bionic sense of smell or hearing or both; twice a day some nice man walks his yellow lab quietly along our street, but no matter where the Mitzter is, she will smell/hear it and run barking like a banshee to protect her territory!  Crazy.

We had trained her wonderfully to sleep in her 'cave/crate' but that's all gone a bit pear shaped since we took a 10 day trip out of Bangalore, our first without her, and she got more freedom than she was used to!  Suffice to say we left her in the crate for four hours last night while we were out for the evening, and came home to witness a mess beyond belief, bent bars on the door, and apparently, infernal barking and howling for at least an hour.  Back to the drawing board on that one then...

All in all though Mitzie is turning into an unlikely guard dog and obviously the sweetest companion - to us, at least!

Would you pony up for this gear?

This has to be a joke, right??? Katie Price (who's she) launches her new range of equestrian equipment!

I will so be wearing that at the stables next week....

Release the Hounds...

... and whatever else ammunition you have in the crazy war between dog owner and residents.  We have had another complaint; this time, about noise after 11:30pm in our bedroom... apparently the sound of strange instruments dropping on the floor and rather heavy feet.  Ah, that'll be Mitzie practicing the euphonium and drums.  Crazy!!!

Last week, we saw a very adorable property that is available in our area that is worthy of the name "Bunny Cottage."  Very delightful and just enough garden and space for a family of 2.5 - and it even has a granny flat!  Mitzie loved the garden, which was a better response to another house we saw, where she took a dump on the master bedroom floor... thank god for poop bags!

Calling our Landlord was a bit of worry as breaking your lease anywhere can be a) very easy or b) a harrowing nightmare.  Fortunately, this was very easy, and he was very reasonable, until I mentioned that we had had a few issues in the apartment but they were in no way the reason for our departure.  I mentioned the dog being 'banned' from the periphery, the stolen shoes, the passive aggressive behavior, and the upcoming AGM where the dog would be discussed... Our landlord went NUTS!!!  Full on angry and amazingly on-side with us.  His big thing is that in India, guests are like God and we should not be treated like this... He even said he didn't care about the money... this was unacceptable.  And then he rolled out the name of his friend... the owner of the property company that we live in, yes, the same name we were planning to roll out at the AGM if things got tough!  Seems we move in similar circles!

He immediately called the building manager, who called me and said not to worry... We discussed the missing shoes again; while he reassured me that they had NOT left the building (with Elvis) I told him that if they weren't on my feet, that didn't really help me!!!  

Mysteriously, the AGM was postponed due to 'unavoidable circumstances' and will be held next week instead.  I have NO plans on attending, unless it is to release Mitzie among them to take a dump.  Instead, I am hoping our Landlord arrives and brings with him the 'six big dogs' that he mentioned in our phone conversation and which he threatened to move in with if we left!  

Sick as a Dog

As we learn about life with our little dog, two things have become quite clear:

1)  She doesn't like fine cheeses

2) She doesn't like to dance to Bjork too soon after breakfast

We found out both these facts the hard way:  first off, Mitzie managed to grab a shrink-wrapped $12 piece of Chevre from our shopping bags on Saturday and 10 minutes after poking her snout into it and having a good lick, we were cleaning up the aftermath...  Clearly she is NOT a fan of fine cheeses.

Then this morning, I got over-excited reminiscing about my clubbing days when Bjork's 'Big Time Sensuality' came on VH1... Mitzie tried to keep up with my high energy dancing until 'blurgh,' her breakfast came back onto the sofa.  Maybe it was a comment on my dancing.  Or Bjork's outfit.  Or both.  Either way, there will be no more dancing til breakfast is well digested.

She does seem to like to eat the strangest things though; her favourite on Saturday morning?  Horse poop.  And of course, she'll come and give you a kiss on your face straight afterwards.... It's a wonder we are not riddled with all manner of disease.  Who knows, we could be.  I'm sure we will find out at some point... or we will become so immune to everything that we'll never get sick here again.  Let's hope for the latter.

Poops and Pooped

I am exhausted!!!  Just over two weeks into being a puppy momma and I am shattered.  Not sure if it's the combo of non-stop nannying, or a bit of a heavy partying weekend, but I am wiped out.  Also, the stress of our neighbors is taking its toll and I'm wondering whether they are involved in the disappearance of three pairs of our shoes from outside our front door...  It's very Indian to leave your shoes outside the door, and given that we are walking our dog outside in the mud on the non-existent road, it's actually a necessity that we don't come in the house in them.  So, yesterday lunchtime I was a little shocked to see two pairs of sneakers and one pair of birkenstocks had gone!  Of course, housekeeping (the ladies who clean the stairs and take the trash out) claim they weren't there when they came around in the morning; they were, everyone saw them (me, Tom, driver, neighbor) and security hadn't seen them... Security also haven't noticed the three times previously that our driver has had his fuel pipe cut and the petrol drained from his bike...  The building manager did make me feel better by saying that if the company paid for better security, we wouldn't have this issue.  THAT'S reassuring.  I'm not sure which is worse - having a thief in the building OR handling somebody's passive aggressive behaviour against us...

On the Mitzie front, things are progressing nicely... one or two minor set backs (little parcels in strange places...) but she is getting to grips with 'sit' and 'come' but is a terror on her leash.  She was good at Tara's party on Sunday, but got VERY territorial when any other dogs came near, even though it was their house!!!  And she hates kids.  They're ok while they're petting her, but then they start to tease and mess about and a little growl turns into a snap... we have to watch her closely around little ones.  Or avoid them altogther!!!

Walk of Shame

It is quite ironic that as our neighbors demand that we walk Mitzie outside the apartment complex, this article appears in the Times of India about our very neighborhood.... Couple this with the 25,000 stray dogs in Bangalore, the majority of which seem to live nearby, and you'll understand why walking your dog outside is NOT a pleasant experience!!!

Whine and Wine

I am sitting here exhausted sipping a nice glass of red at the side of Mitzie's crate after chasing her around the living room for the last hour removing anything and everything from her mouth... iPod case anyone?  Tupperware container?  Bag of sneakers?  Slippers?  Pink horse whip?  Silk cushion?  I could go on... this is, of course, aside from the 'authorized' chew toys imported from the four corners of the earth before her arrival Chez McGuire.  Aside from these things, earliero on our walk around the building I had to remove an either dead or comatose mini-frog from her mouth as she tried to digest it, as well as a 2" piece of unidentifiable bone, and I think some cow cud...  I cannot imagine having a baby would be this hard - just kidding, all mommas out there!

The last few days have seen a massive improvement in sleeping habits; her crate is in our bedroom and with the aid of "Relaxing Music for Dogs" (I kid you not) and a little patience on our part, she's now sleeping most of the night in there, undisturbed, apart from telling us she wanted to poop last night at 2am.  My pilates instructor this morning asked what was wrong in class, I told her, "Baby crying..."  It may as well have been.

Mitzie is still very timid outside the apartment but has actually developed a bad barking/growling habit in the last two days...  Her first outburst yesterday was at the stables, where she slept happily on the sofa for an hour at the side of me, but then when my friend Tara came to chat to me, she went ballistic, barking and agrowling.  Same thing today when the doorbell went a couple of times, and later today when our maid brought the kid she looks after to meet the dog... Actually, I was quite pleased about that one!!!

To be fair, Mitzie had a stressful day...  we visited the vets, which was lovely, but out of nowhere, a thermometer was shoved up her bum... she didn't flinch!  After nail clipping, skin check, ears cleaning, heart monitoring, and a good old squeezing from the vet, she was subjected to a (not so experienced) assistant shaving the back of her neck and not one, but two local anaesthetics, before a needle as big as your finger was injected into her containing a microchip.  She was scanned, successfully, and the numbers matched up.  Now we can swipe her at the supermarket!  Maybe she'll bleep through security at the airport or shops?  Whatever, she didn't move a muscle and was very much a lady throughout the whole process.

And now she sleeps... after a little whining, and my first glass of wine, she and I are both relaxed.  Please let it stay this way just through dinner!!!

Barking Mad

So, not only did Mitzie find her BIG barking voice yesterday, Tom and I are BARKING MAD that we've had our first complaint about her at our apartment.  Wow, didn't even take a week!!!  Head of the residents' association (WHATEVER) has complained that she was in the 'communal areas' which I'm assuming as a rational person means poolside and in the kids' playground, NOT the driveway around the building where everyone parks their cars.  I'm cool with not taking her on the grass, and look forward to seeing THE RULE BOOK that the building manager is bringing tomorrow.  Tom has vowed to learn EVERY rule in the book, and call the building manager every time we see someone contravening 'a rule.'  Maybe it was me letting her run wild in the spider plants (she looked VERY cute!) or Tom taking her for a snoop in the bushes by the kids' playground... whatever, we will overcome!

Yesterday Mitzie really came into her own; we took her to the stables for the first time where she met Majesty... I don't know who was more nervous, her or Tom!!!  She was actually very relaxed around the horses, chased the geese and duck, didn't notice the monkeys (despite them pointing at her!), was a little timid around some of the farm dogs that live there, but went BESERK went our friend's dog, Fido, a sort of houndy looking boxery type dog, came into where we were sitting.  She was barking up a storm!!!  Fido, who is 10 times her size, looked positively perplexed and skulked away.  Apparently he's a big baby and LOVES little dogs, squirrels, all that stuff.  I predict they will be married in a year.  It always starts that way!  Her barking continued when we got home as Tom ran out of the bathroom with just a towel round his waist; Mitzie, it was enough to scare me too!!!

Training is going OKAY.  We are kind of pooping and a peeping in the right places, but nighttime is difficult with much crying from the crate if she has to be separated from us.  We have taken a couple of steps back in her crate training and are sitting alongside her while she's in there to stop her a) chewing her way out and b) crying til Tom caves...

She has already, you'll be pleased to know, shown signs of equestrian prowess, running around the house with a pink whip in her mouth reading to 'giddy up!'

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

Who knew that having a dog could be so difficult?  But I should have known, having had Majesty (horse) to relate it to.  One minute you have a glorious day, the next, a terrible time, with no rhyme nor reason to it.  I guess that's the beauty of the relationship between humans and their pets.

Yesterday was a trying time for Mitzie who suddenly became very timid again leaving the apartment and had to be carried to the peeps spot (where nothing happened, again...) which could have been the result of all the stray dogs lurking round every corner or the fact we'd been charged by a cow earlier.  Our long walk/run in the afternoon wasn't much better; I carried her to the park but she seemed happier to sit on my knee instead of exercising, but would put on a sudden sprint when she saw the exit.  People often under estimate the intelligence of animals; she knows where she is and where she wants to be, much the same as Majesty, who walks S L O W L Y out from the stables but is very quick to virtually trot back in.

After three hours of post exercise snoozing (think I wore her out eventually) she flipped into a funny half hour which saw her picking up and running off with anything that wasn't screwed down - baseball hat, shoes, slippers, sneakers, phone case - and me replacing it with authorized toy - i.e., something indestructible.  It was during this phase that a friend of mine called and just as I was telling her how well Mitzie had done in finding the right place to peep/poop, she (Mitzie, not my friend) just got down and did it on her brand new puppy rug from Singapore!!!  That wasn't the worst of it... Tom, who cannot resist her pleading eyes and whining, against my better judgement, allowed her time on our bed... she thanked him, by peeping all over the duvet and soaking it through the sheets.  They may think I'm hard nosed about all this stuff, but it will benefit them in the long run.  And me, who won't be washing as many sheets...

Today we are back to 'performing' on the balcony, but still very timid when 'out on the streets.'  I must admit, I'm a little scared of the packs of dogs here, and Tom and she were terrified by  gang this morning, so I don't blame her for wanting to stay in the confines of the safe apartment!

Big News in Little Dogville

Where to begin!  The last 24 hours have been a revelation!!!  For no apparent reason yesterday, Mitzie gave her first tiny 'wuff wuff' followed by a small growl...  I think it was her reaction to the dearth of Olympic coverage here in India!  She quite enjoys watching the TV.  Then last night, she pooped in the designated area on our balcony, despite about eight attempts to get her to do it outside.  And this morning, we had our first peeps on the balcony too!!!  It had been 15 hours since she last went, which seemed ridiculously long, and she doesn't seem to want to go outside on the grass.  Slowly but surely she'll get the hang of it... 

The vet came to see her yesterday and gave her a clean bill of health, except for a small eye infection was has been plaguing her for a while before we brought her home.  We discussed the options of getting her spayed - and he could actually do it at home!  Yikes!  Not sure what he would charge, but his one-hour visit yesterday was the ridiculous amount of $7.50!!!  Tom wants him to visit every day...

We did have a restless night...  Twice during the night Mitzie launched herself like a rocket dog onto our bed and woke me up from a deep sleep.  Tom is the softy in the house, letting her stay there, while I frantically get her to go back in her bed.  We will try her in the crate tonight... Neither of them will like that!!!

I'm sure life is going on as normal in Bangalore and feel slightly guilty that Majesty is being neglected til we establish a routine for the little one.  However, I did hear yesterday that he was being filmed for a small part in a Kannada film, so he's clearly doing quite well without me!!!

You can't teach an old dog...

Mitzie has now been with us nearly 48 hours.  She's adorable and so loving but a lot of hard work!!!  Yesterday she learned a number of new tricks - some good, some not so good - such as:

- Leaping onto the highest part of the chair and leaping off again is good fun - not good for Dachsunds' backs!

- The kitchen is where it happens, particularly the bin, to the point where she opened it with her nose... it's now moved up onto a unreachable shelf!

- Outside is not so scary, despite a little hard work and coaxing to get her to move even a few steps.  She's very shaky but once she gets into her stride, she's off.  And all on a collar and leash that she's never had on before.  

- People love her, so remind me NOT to be outside when the schoolkids are coming home. They're mad for her.  And she doesn't seem to mind the fuss.

- Fetch is fun, especially with her favourite lamb toy.  Still hasn't quite got that she has to bring it back to me... not to her favourite spot on the sofa!

- Chewing is great, except when it's the corner of my laptop, my slipper, the sofa, her bed, etc.  On the advice of friends, we used a deterrent spray all over the legs and bottom of our wooden furniture and that's done the trick; she doesn't show any sign of interest.  And as soon as she starts to chew anything bad, it's replaced with her favourite lamb and a bone.

The one puzzling factor for us is her desire to peep and poop IN the house, versus OUTSIDE.  She seems to have found a spot in our bedroom for poop (thanks for that, this morning!) and one in my dressing room for peeps.  Suffice to say ALL the doors are closed now and a more rigid 'ELIMINATION' schedule is in place.  That said, after three trips outside today, and a couple onto the newspaper balcony, by 11:30am she STILL hadn't peed.... until she decided to do it on the (thankfully tiled) living room floor...  I guess it will be a long process!

And now she sleeps...

Dog Blog

It's been a long time coming, but around the time of my last posting, we found a gorgeous little 8-month ol dachshund bitch that we named Mitzie.  Given summer travels to the UK, France, and Singapore, we couldn't bring her home until yesterday...  and now our life will never be the same!!!

We have been to see her a few times inbetween our travels and she's been an absolute delight, liking nothing better than a good cuddle up on the sofa.  Yesterday, when I went to collect her from her family home, she ran straight up to me, crying, as if she knew something was happening.  After some goodbyes to her momma and sister, I took her off for an appointment at Fuzzy Wuzzy to get her cleaned up and smelling good.  

She was very good in the car and snuggled up all the way, but seemed a bit bewildered by everything.  At Fuzzy Wuzzy she was PERFECTLY behaved, but was a little shaky afterwards but soon settled down when we went to the apartment.  She is not house-trained, as she lived outside before, so our patience will be tested!  As we live on the sixth floor, we are attempting a mix of paper/outdoor training, with a crate...  our first attempts were foiled as Mitzie picked a couple of mats in the bedroom - one to peep on and one to poop on!!!  Despite using 'dog training spray' to encourage her to go on the balcony, these seemed to be the best spots for her.  We will persevere!

She didn't seem too much interested in toys yesterday, but soon learned what a 'treat' is and that her food appears regularly in her crate.  She ate it standing half in and half out - and within a half hour we were cleaning up more peeps from the rug!!!  We tried to get her to go outside at 11pm but she didn't seem too keen - eventually, we brought her back in and she did a successful one on the newspaper.

Taking her outside is a little difficult right now as she has never worn a collar and lead - and wasn't ready to be introduced to them last night.  Today she's happily wearing her collar - with the odd chew here and there.

Our first full night was somewhat uneventful; we put her dog bed on our bed where she slept for a couple of hours, then we moved her to the floor.  Despite a little whimpering she soon settled down.

This morning I was traumatized at the LACK of peeps!  Despite desperate attempts on my part to get her to go, nothing was happening, and for three hours she ate, played, and slept quite happily until the urge was too much...  After a little whimpering and circling around, back she went to find a rug in another room - and dropped off some poop five minutes later at the same spot as yesterday (now without a mat!!!)  

Chewing has started today - anything and everything from the corner of my Mac (not good, Mitzie) to a fabric drinks coaster and the sofa...  I have managed to replace things with a Nylabone and a little toy, especially after she decided my diamond engagement ring was a good thing to get her teeth around!!!

She is currently napping next to me on the sofa (she seems to do that A LOT) and has enjoyed visits from the Maid and our Driver, neither of whom really fazed her.  No barking so far (thank goodness!) and this afternoon we will be trying a little walk around the block... don't hold your breath!

You're Never Too Old...

... to get excited about winning a rosette!  I have found in recent years that all the motivation I need to take part in something (road race, horse show) is the promise of a rosette or medal - or preferably both.  I've never thought of myself as competitive in that sense but I guess I am now!

This weekend I took part in an in-house show at my riding school with three classes - best turned out horse and rider, dressage, and obstacle course.  Majesty and I practiced hard on Saturday but unfortunately the less sensible of the two of us drank a little too much that night and felt tired and wretched the next day, without a chance of a nap and baking weather conditions.  In fact, I was found by my husband late in the evening in Majesty's stable giving him a kiss and cuddle while he slept on, unphased.  At least he's not the jealous type (horse and husband!)

Unfortunately, we missed our 7am lesson, but managed the 10am one in preparation for the show at 3pm.  Inbetween times, we preened, cleaned and groomed (the horse and me) which is hard work with a hangover and a horse that looks at me as if to say, "Are you done yet???"

Perseverance and preparation paid off, as we scooped first prize for both the best turned out horse and rider AND the dressage test (the judges had low expectations!), and came second in the obstacle course, in part due to the fact that I was directionally challenged at one point, and finished the test off in reverse!  Overall, we were the champions of the weekend, earning the most points, and came home happy with three red rosettes and one blue.  

I think Majesty deserves more than his usual sack of carrots for carrying me so skilfully through the weekend!

Twelfth Night, a day of firsts

How exciting can one Sunday be?  Not only do I have to look forward to taking down the Christmas Tree (here it is in all its fake glory) but we had a day of exciting firsts. Firstly, among the firsts, was one that nearly made me cry - Majesty neighed!  As ridiculous as this sounds, we have had this horse since May and not a sound has passed his lips.  He has mouthed an empty neigh a couple of times - once I believe as an apology when we were reunited after a fall and he galloped home and left me - but never the real thing.  Today we had two.  It was like a baby's first words.  Only much less distinguishable.  And a little louder.  Secondly, among the firsts, Tom went inside one of Bangalore's up and coming hyper/supermarkets, the new Tata-owned Crazy Bazaar, or something like that.  He was amazed!  Three floors of very western style supermarket, and of course the obligatory meat department selling, among other delicacies, goat chops, goat hooves, goat kidneys - very neat looking - and goat brain.  Tom was shocked how small it was.  And there was only one.  I never thought goats were known for their cerebral matter.  Finally, among the firsts, was getting 'caught by the fuzz' upon leaving afore mentioned Bazaar.  The car park was full, so our driver parked off site and came to collect us when we called. He stopped for one minute while we got in on the driveway into the store and was pounced on by one of Bangalore's finest, complete with long-lathi (i.e., big stick!).  Much arguing ensued and we figured out that the fine upstanding Policeman was trying to fine us for parking!  Tom tried to interject.  As did I.  But he took our driver's driving licence and told us to meet him across the road, by his bike.  So, dutifully we drove around and prepared for the Dibble to give our driver a ticket (or demand an unspecified amount of cash in exchange for no receipt...)  As luck would have it, across the road at the Bazaar, about half a dozen cars were stopped in the same place, so our driver quickly said that he would pay the same amount as those cars as long as the Officer went over and fined them too.  There was a little arguing from him about him only having one pair of legs and that he couldn't fine everybody, at which point he caved and let us off, without even a Rs. 10 fine!  We decided that our driver is the best arguer in Bangalore - but in typical male fashion, he assured us that that title goes to his wife!  What a day!

From the Horse's Mouth...

If only horses could talk.  I'm sure they'd make a lot more sense than some of their human counterparts.  Not that it normally matters to me.  Here is Majesty saying, "How'd you like my new Christmas headcollar?"  See, without even speaking, I know what he's saying...  He lets you know what he's thinking in his own little way.  Like the time Tom told me, "he's telling you 'enough already'" when he (Majesty, not Tom) tried to take a chunk out of me as I struggled to clean his dandruffy mane for far too long.  Thinking about it, Tom does the same too if I'm preening for too long...  And the time that he jumped in the air and spun around a few times when he heard a firecracker; that was him saying "I'm scared, someone's trying to shoot me..." Thankfully Tom was riding him at the time.  And today, he seemed depressed.  The first time I have encountered my horse in a miserable, unhappy, head hung low kind of mood.  It all became clear after a short time riding; he was a little lame on one leg and lugging around my post-Christmas weight was obviously making it worse.  So, we set off back to the stables for a 'shot of bute' to relieve the pain and, I kid you not, a 20-minute heat lamp treatment, administered by moi, on his rump.  He was very patient throughout the process, looking back a few times to see what was going on, but for the most part standing patiently while I heated him up - and hung onto my aching arm.  In an effort to humanize the process, I even tried a little 'deep tissue massage' to help the healing along.  Majesty can now look forward to a couple of days of rest, perhaps some time in the paddock (unless like last time, he jumps out of his into someone else's and proceeds to start a fight....) and be fit and well for a Sunday morning ride.  Let's hope when he sees us his 'horsey voice' is the usual - welcoming and friendly - and not screaming "bugger off to the gym, lard asses, I need to rest up my leg!"

If Music Be the Food of Love...

... I'm full!  There's nothing like a holiday or celebration of some kind to bring out two things in India - a never ending supply of very unsafe fireworks and loud tasteless music.  Of course, New Year's Eve was no exception.  It started (quite late) at 4pm at our apartment; a loud unrecognizable noise which remotely sounded like 24 monkeys playing kazoo's, and one of them on drums.  By 5pm we had progressed onto 'real' music including a rousing disco version of Wham's Last Christmas.  What makes it worse is that we are surrounded by apartment buildings that form a very inconvenient echo chamber meaning that the booming bass booms even more.  Thank god we were going out for dinner to escape the infernal racket!!!  But at our New Year's dinner we didn't escape it either.  After expecting quite violinists in the corner, come 11pm the thumping DJ started playing a mix of bad 80's disco (I kid you not when I say the last record of the year was D I S C O by Ottawa as I recall...) and Bangra Bollywood Beats.  And not content with pouring our free flowing fizz all night, come midnight, the over eager staff decided to drench us with it too, much to the chagrin of Tom, who protested loudly as the bubbles missed his new Christmas tie by inches!  Anyway, back to the music.  It started again today, New Year's Day.  At 8am.  Fabulous.  Happy New Year and here's to a noisy 2008.

Classic TV

This is a very random posting, but for some reason, I got to thinking about my favourite childhood TV programmes.  When I was six, it was Black Beauty and luckily YouTube has the opening sequence right here  And the other was White Horses, and sure enough YouTube has it here  Now, if only Majesty would come and get me up in the morning!!!

Breed All About It

I have a few doggie tails to catch you up on as 'dog fever' seems to have hit Bangalore.  No, it's not like 'chikungunya' fever, this is the real deal, as Bangalore hosted its annual dog show over the weekend.  We didn't get a chance to visit as seeing a large percentage of the 25,000 stray dog population every day - and hearing them at night - kind of gets you dogged-out.  However, I was compelled to write about two things:  1.  the 5-star hotel stray-dog incident and 2.  The Bangalore Mirror's 'spot-on' reporting of the current pedigree dog trend in the city.  I am firstly indebted to my favourite breeder, who reported so swiftly on the latter, and was with me to witness the former.  Note to animal activists:  she is physically breeding herself, so to speak, NOT a puppy farmer...  Anyway, the former incident involved the hilarity that ensued when a stray dog got into the inner sanctum of the 5-star Oberoi hotel here in Bangalore.  Guests were thrilled to see him scampering around the neatly manicured lawns, minding his own business, and but he outdid himself when he took not one, but two, shortcuts across a pretty little fishpond in true doggie swimming style.  The scene that resulted was quite reminiscent of a 1970's Benny Hill end-of-show sketch - except with more clothes - as the dog was chased by smartly-clad waiters, sari-cladded hostesses, groundsmen in brown pant suits, and even a toque-touting chef!  It did take a turn for the less amusing when, under obvious instructions from senior management, the groundsman took to hurling a large broom-handle at the dog.  Now I don't know a lot about dogs, but the sight of a stick - large or small - flying through the air is more a signal to 'fetch' vs. 'run away!'  I do not know what happened to the daring dog that day, but for a few fleeting moments he was the star of the show!  And equally funny in journalistic terms was this report from the Bangalore Mirror on some of the more high-end dogs that are gracing the city streets... this just goes to show that their canine scribes are about as clued in as their 'ask the sexpert' expert!