Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Size Matters

It has taken me two years+ to realize that I'm a 110 percenter living in an 80 percent country.  My cravings for symmetry, accuracy, timeliness, and thoroughness are never going to be met here, so as my husband would say, 'get over it!'  I am trying.  Recently my craving for 110 percent actually got me more than I bargained for with a - with hindsight - hilarious view of the Indian perspective.  I ordered, from my lovely man at Perfect Computers (in name only, as he once told me...), a pack of A3 Epson Matte Archival Photo Paper.  It took a few weeks, but eventually it came, and I handed over my $75 and was on my way.  It was only when I got home that I realized that the paper was 'Super' A3, not just A3, which is a whole lot bigger than I had bargained for.  I called the store, they suggested I speak to Epson.  The conversation went something like this:


Epson:  "I hear you have some doubts about the paper."
Me:  "Yes, it's the wrong size."
Epson:  "What are your doubts?"
Me:  "I doubt it will fit in my A3 size printer."
Epson:  "Most people in India accept this size."
Me:  "Most people in India must have an A3+ printer then."
Epson:  "So, what are your doubts?"

This went on for a while, and included email exchanges where I sent him the definitions and sizes of A3 and Super A3/A+, until he concluded that he couldn't get the right size here, would refund the store, and I could get my money back.

Fast forward two weeks post-op and my call to Perfect Computers who agreed to refund my money, even offering to come to my apartment and collect the paper there.  As I was passing by there, I decided to do it in person.  Of course, I am looking for 110 percent, or in this case, just 100 percent of my money.  But, in typical Indian style, EVERYTHING is a negotiation, and EVERYTHING should only be done at 80%, so here goes:

Me:  "Here's the paper, I'd like my 2,995 Rupees back please as we discussed."
PC:  "Let me show you some other paper, I will give you a sample to try."  (Shows me some crappy stuff).
Me:  "It's not matte and it's not archival, so no thanks, just give me the 2,995 Rupees please."
PC:  "Is there something else you'd like in the store?"
Me:  "No thanks, I just spent 8,000 Rupees on ink from you so don't need anything for a while, just the 2,995 Rupees please."
PC:  "Well, as you bought this last month, I have closed the books and sent off the bills, so it's a problem."
Me:  "Not my problem, in fact, I never got a bill/receipt for this, so you can just give me the 2,995 Rupees please."
(Repeat this discussion twice...)
PC:  "Ok, I'll give you the cash, I just need to take off 4% tax." (fiddles with calculator)
Me:  "Er, no.  You normally ADD tax to the amount I pay, so if anything you give me more back.  Please just give me the 2,995 Rupees."
(Repeat this discussion again...)
Me:  "Here is 5 Rupees, please give me 3,000."
PC:  "Here you go.... 3,000 Rupees."

I'm not sure if there's a moral to this story other than - everything is a negotiation and you should expect that.  And stick your ground.  Size DOES matter, whether it's the size of paper, the amount of your refund, or the amount of time it takes to reach a satisfactory conclusion.  While we may only be arguing about a few dollars, to me, it's the principle of the matter and the fact that as a 'foreigner' here you never know whether the 'opposition' is trying it on because you're white OR simply because they have a livelihood to maintain.  Either way, if you have the time or the inclination to negotiate, you can have some moments that on reflection are 100% funny!