You Know You're In England When...

1. You can get pate in the supermarket - that's pate for dogs as well as humans - in fact, you can get ANYTHING in the supermarket.
2. You are driving along in bright sunshine then suddenly hit a freezing snowstorm.
3. The line for the Manchester flight contains at least one woman in a full 'leisure' suit complete with camel toe.
4. The TV is full of repeats, celebrity cooking programmes, and property programmes (with/without celebrity).
5. Wine is one fifth of the price of India - and 10 times better.
6. You can drive YOURSELF around the city AND get up to speeds of more than 10 mph.
7. McDonald's sells beef.
8. The temperature is in single digits.
9. The cows are ALL in fields.
10. Your luggage doesn't arrive when you do...

Raging Bull

There are many times in India when you think to yourself, 'you couldn't make this up,' and what happened to us on Saturday is at the top of this tree. In fact, I would go so far as to say it's the funniest thing we've experienced here and it would definitely rank #1 on the list of 'weird insurance claims...' So, we are driving (or rather, being driven) to lunch on Saturday when out of nowhere, a swerving motorbike comes crashing into the left side of our car (he's over taking us, but bear in mind, there appear to be no rules here about which side you overtake on...) The reason he's swerving - we all too quickly realize - is to avoid the oncoming cantering copulating cow complete with bull attached firmly to her buttocks. It's not hard to see from her expression, and gait, that she wishes he WEREN'T attached to her rear end. The poor motorbike rider only just missed the mating mayhem and luckily for us and him there was no damage to car, bike, or passengers. Sadly, there is no word to date from the cow or bull!